A little Starbucks hello. (:
Service this morning was just.. amazing.
I miss being able to just soak in God’s presence like that.
More than starting to heal. Not completely back to normal yet, I’ll have to admit. But I know that God makes all things new. And that He shall cause even my mistakes to prosper me.
Starting to let go of the hurt and bitterness that I’ve chalked up this sem because of events that have unfolded. It has been a humbling journey, one that has reminded me again how very small I am, and how very big God is.
Not many of you have walked this path with me, I felt more alone this sem than I’ve felt in a long time. But I am thankful for those of you who were around, at some point or another when God designed that you should appear at my darkest moments, to support me.
Have been forced to become stronger, another knock, another cut, another bit of refining, all on my walk as God makes me his precious gem that sparkles brilliantly because HIS light is upon me.
Mom said ‘我长大了’ (I have grown up), with that knowing mothery look in her eyes and that smile on her face. I only feel like I have so much more to learn. So bring it on, life. There is nothing I shall not be able to face because Jesus has already given me the victory over any circumstance.
And it is true, God will never give you a period of stretching that you will not be able to cope with.
I have lived some, I have learned some, and I know I will learn more.
The more I learn, the more I am being prepared for those exciting dreams God has planted in my heart.
Much of the dreams He has placed in me are dreams I do not dare utter, visualizations I cannot bring myself to vocalize because they look so big to me, difficult tasks that I cannot imagine myself accomplishing. Yet I know everything that’s going on now, God stretching me, is just but another step towards these dreams.
There are times I forget these dreams. Because I do not deserve to have them, I am not good enough for them, and I see how weak I am and how large a chasm there is between who I am now and who I’ll have to be in order to live those dreams.
But that chasm has already been filled, even though it is a bottomless chasm. Because God’s love is bottomless, limitless, and He fills up every pothole of my inadequacies, smooths out every crack of my imperfections, and then presents me to the world – His beautiful, perfect child, only because His finished work has made me perfect first.
Today I am reminded of my dreams. Dreams that I have shelved over the past year.
Each of us Christians walk a journey, and each of us have big dreams that God has placed in our hearts.
When we start looking at ourselves, and how lousy we are, how we’ve fallen short, and how we’ll never achieve those dreams.
But of course. When you look at yourself, can you expect any better?
You flatter yourself by thinking you can achieve the dreams God has placed in your heart by your own efforts.
If God has given you dreams, then God will see that they are accomplished.
If God opens the door, who can shut.
If God shuts the door, who can open?
Even our own inadequacies cannot stop God from fulfilling His promises in our lives.
In fact, it IS our weaknesses that allows God’s strength to be perfected in us.
So do not condemn yourself, friend, for not being good enough. Because that is the truth.
You are not good enough.
The only one who is is Jesus, and He is good enough for everything.
So rest in the unwavering, undisappointing one.
For if He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulders -
I know my brother, that He will carry you too.
