Amazing.

I slept for 11hours. I have no recollection of having done this in the past month. Nice.

Am no less busy than I once was. Just decided that perhaps sleeping would make me less grouchy (and boy have I been grouchy lately).

Serving for camp next week. Wasn’t going to, originally. But Jeremy’s ORDing in the same week and he didn’t manage to take leave, so I’m stepping in. A camp of over 450 people and 3 photogs officially serving. FOC has only over 150 people and there are already more photographers deployed for it than for HM09. Lol.

The directive given, as per all events, is that they want “full coverage”. But of course.

Didn’t want to serve at first because I thought it would be needful for me to just receive at this camp, given what I think to be my emotional and psychological state. However, God has better plans for me. And I believe that since He has opened this window of opportunity for me to serve as a photog at this camp, He will not shortchange me. God has his portion for me. Amen, amen and amen.

Since acquiring my D90 a whole new world has been open to me. The opportunities to capture precious moments has been endless, and continue to be so. I guess sometimes people are just under the impression that just because you own a DSLR it means you can take good photos. They just expect you to be able to know what to do with it. But as this quote reads;

Buying a Nikon doesn’t make you a photographer. It makes you a Nikon owner. -Author unknown

I do not claim to be a good photographer. Or even one who knows my equipment very well. I’m learning, yes, and God has opened up to me so many opportunities to learn. Zhanyi’s borrowing Jeremy’s speedlight (SB-600) for me to use for camp. Had my first go with it during Play! and looking forward to capturing some good praise shots with that.

Still eyeing the 35mm, f1.8 lens and thinking of getting my own speedlight  but I’ll take my time… I seriously need to get a replacement for my iPod touch because life without it has been… well, incomplete. Eyeing the new iPhone 3G S and we’ll see how that goes when it’s released here in Singapore.

When July hits it’s going to get even crazier. FOC is from 6 to 10 July. Will probably be a videographer for the camp because there just won’t be enough videographers and WL already has a substantial photog crew. (I mean c’mon, he has the whole Chron photodesk down to help him!) Pity since I do prefer to be behind my D90 lens rather than lugging the P2 or Sony around. (First it is twice as heavy, secondly it is twice as tiring)

One of my biggest gripes about school is that I am more than just occasionally not treated like a girl. *insert weary sigh here* But we’ll save that complaint for another day.

Immediately after camp breaks on the 10th, I’ll only have very few hours of respite before Saturday the 11th, which is Arrow Ministry’s O&I (Orientation & Integration), aka, our orientation for all the JC and Poly folk moving up to Varsity cluster. Word has come in that yes, I will be the photog for that day, though I do hope we’ll be getting more people because I cannot possibly divide myself between all the university campuses (NTU, NUS, SMU, SIM and other PTE) and still make it to Suntec before the rest to prepare the photo slideshow before they arrive for the afternoon service. Doing some major design collateral for that day as well, thank you Jesus that those will turn out awesome as well. Amen.

And then on Sunday (12th July) after first service, I fly to Thailand for a much anticipated mission trip. Really excited about that because it will my first mission trip and I can’t wait to see God’s portion for me there. And yes I am the trip photographer as well. My D90 is living a very fulfilling life, at the rate I’m going maybe I’ll need to upgrade faster than expected.

Back to the point about being a Nikon owner, yes, just because you own a spanky DSLR people expect you to produce breathtaking photographs, which is not always the case. I’m just going to trust God to place me in the right place, at the right time, to capture the right shots and the right expressions, for all the events that are to come. Be it camp, or O&I or the mission trip. My equipment is modest; but my D90 body and my (admittably pretty good) kit lens. I don’t have a speedlight, I don’t have fast primes, I don’t even have anything to bounce light from. But I have Jesus, and I believe He will give me qara moments where I capture The good shots.

I don’t believe it’s coincidence that God has opened up so many doors since I got my camera. Have had the opportunity to learn from the rest of the photographers, and am still fresh to shooting for church. Camp is very exciting, because things change so fast and just move in the spirit that you just really have to be in the zone to capture the right things at the right time. But most importantly, it is my privilege to be able to serve. It is my privilege to serve in God’s kingdom. Because I know my God, and I know His faithfulness to His people. And when He blesses He never shortchanges. When He says thank you the gifts are never small. And what He gives is never merely enough, but always overflowing with abundance.

With that I think I finally know what to christen my D90. Some people familiar with my habit of naming all my expensive toys have been asking me what my camera’s called. I kept giving the reply that my D90 hasn’t portrayed enough quirks and characteristics for me to name him (yes its a boy). But I’ve decided to call him ‘Qara’, (In Hebrew, to encounter, whether accidentally or in a hostile manner — befall, (by) chance, (cause to) come (upon), fall out, happen, meet.), because I believe thats what his purpose is.

Okay, this is a really long entry. Which I just wanted to end off with a completely irrelevant geek/fangirl note.

I think the Leader class (the one that costs like $109 ++) Revenge of the Fallen Optimus Prime is SO VERYVERY cool!!!! (Here is where Peds is going to say I’m a female geek again.)

Maybe I’ll get it when the price goes down. And Lide claims the new Sideswipe is cool but first it’s silver, and secondly, okay the Chevrolet Corvette Stingray concept car is quite cool but it’s not exactly a Lamborghini. And red is sexier than silver any day. [slash end minor geek gripe]

Okay that’s all for now folks.

Back to drawing up schedules, sending out emails and designing.

AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am proud to belong to New Creation Church, to THE ZONE, and to Arrow.

I am proud to know and can’t wait to see how I fit into the larger picture of God’s awesome, mind-blowing plans for my life.

I have had an amazing weekend just being loved and embraced my my Jesus.

This church is mine. Because they have set their eyes on me, my arms will surround this church like a shield. No evil can harm this church.

These are but some of the words I heard God speaking to me as I stood there during the live recording earlier, among other things that spoke directly to me, straight into the very fibre of my being.

You may say whatever you want, the world can have its 2 cents, but I have the wealth of heaven’s riches at my fingertips, and nothing and no one can take that away from me.

Had the first meeting for the Thai mission trip earlier, very exciting stuff. Very, very excited to see God move and to be blessed in return.

Just so overwhelmed and tingly with the happiness that is Jesus. If you don’t know what the hype is about, all I have to say is a line that God himself always says to me:

I wish you could see your life from My eyes.

And then you will understand why this life of mine is lived for nothing more than the glory of His kingdom. Why I cannot live without Him. Why He is everything to me.

Awesome. So awesome. In the meantime, here’s a song from the new Hillsong United album.

Hillsong United – Arms Open Wide

Take my life I lay it down
At the cross where I am found
All I have I give to You oh God

Take my hands and make them clean
Keep my heart in purity
That I may walk in all You have for me

Oh here I stand
Arms open wide
Oh I am Yours
And You are mine

Take my moments and my days
Let each breath that I take
Be ever only for You oh God

My whole life is Yours
I give it all
Surrendered to Your Name
And forever I will pray
Have Your way
Have Your way

Is ‘Who Am I’ even a valid question to ask?

Been having too many opportunities for self-reflection lately. It’s something I steer away from because when you look at yourself, you’re basically doing a cross-sectional analysis of who you are in contrast with other people, regardless of whether it’s a positive or negative self-evaluation. Funny thing is I’m not doing much of it, rather it’s the words that people around me have been using to describe who I appear to be.

The last time I spoke to Tim about all I felt was wrong with me, he kept reminding me not to look at myself, but to turn my eyes away and be Christ-conscious rather than self-conscious.

Pride is something hard to fall from, so I want to avoid even taking that ladder.

Strong. I am undeserving of that description, I can only say that the Lord is my strength. I stand only because He is holding me up.

—

In other news I have begun my SID, which is an acronym Psy has started using to term my ’self-indulgent designing’, aka, a much needed break and rebellion from all the designing I’ve been doing for other people according to other people’s needs. Now I’m doing things I want to design, for the continued health of my design life before I really give up the ghost from sheer burn-out. (Ironic eh. In order to combat designing too much, I need to design even more.) I’m working on a series of typography experiments now, tentatively called ‘My Life in Type’. Will set up another separately blog soon to chronicle my journey with that, and also to post APAD [A Picture a Day], which I should start doing now that D90 has joined the family of Lizzy’s techfriends.

I’ll probably find something cheesy to name it sooner or later, like how my past two phones were called Sexy and Gorgeous… well, my MacBook’s actually Beloved (as those of you who’ve bluetoothed me know), but it’s now better known as Greenie, because it’s green (and beautiful). My iPod touch which has yet to find it’s way back into my hands was just Poddy. I like literal, descriptive names, so I can remember them. (Like how I christened Shannon’s camera ‘Cranky’ and it seems to have stuck. STUCK. HAHA. Okay no pun was intended, really, I should stop laughing at my own jokes.)

Time to head to school now.

It’s been another busy week despite it being summer break. I hate to call it a penchant for saikang, but to put it in a nicer way, I enjoy a job well done. Schedule’s pretty packed again for the day (as it was yesterday: make IC, head to Sunshine to print Outsight stuff, meet Huiling for lunch, back to Sunshine to collect Outsight stuff, off to Millenia for Comma meeting. And the day before, school to collect the stuff from Prof, return my room keys, meet WK and friend for Coke campaign discussion…). Will be heading to school now to put up Outsight, print stuff, then CG tonight at Jo’s.

Busy busy, and happily SIDing. It truly is self-indulgence. But I should really be planning the London itinerary for my family because Sis has unceremoniously left the job to me.

Sometimes I feel like I’m already a working professional, though I suppose when that time comes it’ll be worse. I don’t say that because I’m producing professional quality work, I just say that because I always seem to have work, and it’ll actually be a rather nice change to go away for a week without Greenie and without having to open Photoshop or Illustrator or anything.

Though as WK says, I’ll probably find design inspiration regardless of where I go, and of course I’ll not miss any chances to should they avail themselves to me in London. Maybe I should go see if there’s some exhibition worth attending.

Kenn said I can’t stop designing, because it’s in my blood (in response to my MSN nick yesterday which said I was tired of designing for other people).

I would like to refute the statement but am finding it a little bit difficult to. I don’t know how I got caught up doing so much of it in the past 2 to 3 years that I can no longer imagine a life where I would not need or want to design.

O well.

Time to go to school.

So much for…

Taking a design break. Lol.

Wanted to take these 3 months as a sabbatical to design my own stuff. But on reflection these are the activities I already have on my plate for the hols:

• Comma
• Nanyang Chronicle
• WKWFOC’09
• And just agreed to join WK’s group for the ADdiction Coke Campaign…

Also have jumped on the Moleskine bandwagon thanks to Weiliang.

Yes, I probably don’t need such an expensive notebook, but I just liked the idea of using something that was deliberately created to serve such a creative function. The paper quality’s good anyhow. I do not claim to be an artist. I am barely a designer. But I guess I never stopped loving notebooks. (Was almost tempted to buy some at Paperchase again today, as usual…)

I spend way too much time at bookshops. Went to Tampines1 yesterday, it was dangerously filled with humans (the type if there’s a fire people will probably mostly die from the ensuing stampede) and was also disappointingly boring. Jason noted that I spent the most time in the paper shop (Urban Write or something, a Popular spinoff but with loads of pretty notebooks and paper things that Liz has a serious weakness for).

Spent most of my go-out time in Kino today as well. Came home with my new Moleskine notebooks (the 3 for $23/- type), IdN magazine which seems to have gotten more expensive, and Vol. 3 and 4 of Fables.

Went there after lunching with Mom and Sis at SPRUCE. It’s this awesome new food place that was featured in one of the recent issues of 8Days. Somewhat like PS Cafe with less impressive dessert and drink selection but the food was really good. The Spruce Burger is quite awesome and the freshly baked bread was the type that totally melts in your mouth. The grilled squid salad was a plate chock full of rockets which by the way, is the best plant to ever happen to salad-kind. And the place itself looks so quaint and amazing. I really wish I brought a camera. It’s totally picturesque and the type of cafe/bar/restaurant I would like to open some day.

Pitched to Mom the idea of me going to baking school and she investing money to open such a pad and she said go for it. Lol. We’ve discussed this quite a few times in passing. All I need to do now is really make up my mind and go take some proper culinary lessons. Hmmm….

Getting my D90 tomorrow with WL. Shall start thinking of what to christen that new baby…

By the way for those who don’t know yet, I’ve lost my iPod touch. And yes I am very devastated.

Also have not gone to school to see if my matric card is in Nanyang Audi.

And have also realized that I lost my IC after going to the bank at SMU a few weeks ago. *big sigh*

Shall go pack now. And hope my IC turns up.

And pray that poddy comes back to me too……….

la ti da.

It’s nice to be up at this time of morning, sitting peacefully in my hall, room bathed only in the light of my table lamp while Jess is still sleeping on the other side of the room. Lol.

A lot I want to say, but there are too many prying eyes that would not interpret it in my favour.

In the meantime, here’s COM202 for Dummies,  explained by Tay, Lide (2009) in a way only he can.

Binary weighting.

Eureka!

Spotted in one of my (seemingly endless) COM206 (Visual Literacy) readings:

Most tourists feel compelled to put the camera between themselves and whatever is remarkable that they encounter. Unsure of other responses, they take a picture. This gives shape to experience: stop, take a photograph, and move on. This method especially appeals to people handicpapped by a ruthless work ethic – Germans, Japanese and Americans. Using a camera appeases the anxiety which the work-driven feel about not working when they are on vacation and supposed to be having fun. They have something to do that is like a friendly imitation of work: they can take pictures.

Sontag, S. (1977). On Photography: In Plato’s Cave. New York: Doubleday. p. 10.

As pathetic as the above sounds. DOESN’T IT GIVE YOU A CLUE ABOUT OUR OWN SOCIETY and the fact that we too have a ruthless work ethic? Maybe this explains everything about why every Singaporean seems to own a camera, every handphone must have a camera (unless you’re an NSman), and why our generation CAMWHORES SO MUCH.

Doing all this depressing philosophical readings about photography is making me cynical about it even before I own my own DSLR, with which I intended to frame special moments with. Except that all the readings are quite pointed about how capturing a moment does nothing to empower your memory of the moment but instead painfully frames the passing of time and the painful stark contrast between the present moment and the past moment lost. (Did you even understand that? Try doing the readings, there’s more where that came from.)

But one should not think so much. IMHO.

Happiness and self-awareness seem very much negatively correlated in the Lizzy book of things (I don’t know about your book, but this one’s mine, kthx).

I still prefer the former so I’ll stick to that.

[Edit]: Here’s another line I like.

A photograph is both a pseudo-presence and a token of absence… all such talismanic use of photographs express a feeling both sentimental and implicitly magical: they are attempts to contact or lay claim to another reality.

Now is Susan Sontag poetic or what?

Funnies.

Sem isn’t over yet (almost!), but here are a few things I’ve learned so far:

• Not everything that looks male, sounds male and appears male is a man
• A true friend is one who still turns up when they don’t need to and you tell them you don’t want them to be
• ‘Cool’ is when you don’t blanch or become just as, or even more emotional than the distraught female you’re dealing with
• ‘Cool’ is when you don’t hurt people who hurt you even though you can
• Not everything that sounds sensible is sensible
• Hold your tongue and speak wisely
• Seek wise counsel
• Smile anyway
• Forgive, forget
• Move on

The Lord is my victory.

He is my comforter, my shield and my great reward.

Whom then shall I fear?

I know who I am.

I am God’s beloved.

Proverbs 15 (New Living Translation)

1 A gentle answer deflects anger,
but harsh words make tempers flare.

2 The tongue of the wise makes knowledge appealing,
but the mouth of a fool belches out foolishness.

3 The Lord is watching everywhere,
keeping his eye on both the evil and the good.

4 Gentle words are a tree of life;
a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.

5 Only a fool despises a parent’s discipline;
whoever learns from correction is wise.

6 There is treasure in the house of the godly,
but the earnings of the wicked bring trouble.

7 The lips of the wise give good advice;
the heart of a fool has none to give.

8 The Lord detests the sacrifice of the wicked,
but he delights in the prayers of the upright.

9 The Lord detests the way of the wicked,
but he loves those who pursue godliness.

10 Whoever abandons the right path will be severely disciplined;
whoever hates correction will die.

11 Even Death and Destruction hold no secrets from the Lord.
How much more does he know the human heart!

12 Mockers hate to be corrected,
so they stay away from the wise.

13 A glad heart makes a happy face;
a broken heart crushes the spirit.

14 A wise person is hungry for knowledge,
while the fool feeds on trash.

15 For the despondent, every day brings trouble;
for the happy heart, life is a continual feast.

16 Better to have little, with fear for the Lord,
than to have great treasure and inner turmoil.

17 A bowl of vegetables with someone you love
is better than steak with someone you hate.

18 A hot-tempered person starts fights;
a cool-tempered person stops them.

19 A lazy person’s way is blocked with briers,
but the path of the upright is an open highway.

20 Sensible children bring joy to their father;
foolish children despise their mother.

21 Foolishness brings joy to those with no sense;
a sensible person stays on the right path.

22 Plans go wrong for lack of advice;
many advisers bring success.

23 Everyone enjoys a fitting reply;
it is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time!

24 The path of life leads upward for the wise;
they leave the grave[c] behind.

25 The Lord tears down the house of the proud,
but he protects the property of widows.

26 The Lord detests evil plans,
but he delights in pure words.

27 Greed brings grief to the whole family,
but those who hate bribes will live.

28 The heart of the godly thinks carefully before speaking;
the mouth of the wicked overflows with evil words.

29 The Lord is far from the wicked,
but he hears the prayers of the righteous.

30 A cheerful look brings joy to the heart;
good news makes for good health.

31 If you listen to constructive criticism,
you will be at home among the wise.

32 If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself;
but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding.

33 Fear of the Lord teaches wisdom;
humility precedes honor.

Mini rants.

A couple of days ago I was talking to a friend.

He said several things that I wish I could say they didn’t bother me, but the fact that they still echo in my mind 2 days later is probably a sign that, they do, to some extent.

I’m not extremely or horrifically or terribly affected, just an annoying sort of… linger.

His words went something along the line of;

1. He doesn’t understand what is it about me that is attractive (joke, fine, I can deal with)
2. It’s probably because I’m the most ‘accessible’ of the middle-tier group of decent looking girls, because the top-tier (the really chio ones) are too ‘high level’ and beyond their league so they go for the next best and still acceptable option – someone like me.

On hindsight it is really, quite an insulting thing to say to a girl, even if you know her well enough to be that candid with her.

Which brings me to the point of. Just because a girl adjusts her communication style to suit that of the many males who belong in her immediate social circle, it does not mean you take her for granted and treat her just like one of the guys all the time and in all you do.

Because at the end of the day, I am a girl. And like it or not I am going to behave and react and feel and think like a girl even though I know some of my thought processes are as masculine as they’re going to get.

And this is verified by the fact that point number 2 which he good-to-honestly told me was something that has already crossed my mind before – that it is because I am not ugly, personable, can talk to people, not stupid and overall a good decent package that is why some guys try their luck because I seem to be on a ‘get-able’ level – ‘got chance one’. An easier target, one might say, than going for the drop-dead gorgeous type.

Don’t worry, I know that isn’t who I am. I have greater consciousness of the God who lives in me in whose image I am created in, than I am of these male-defined perceptions of what a girl should be.

And it’s 3.10am and I should sleep so goodnight.

My God.

Sitting in Crosstalk Cafe waiting for Tim. Service just ended a while ago and I’ve happily submitted my HistoryMaker2009 camp form.

Rooming with my dear old friend JANE, whom I’m very glad God has led to New Creation too. Hope Jess has found a roommate if she’s going cause I haven’t asked her.

It’s been a while since I’ve posted something proper.

Pastor said something at the end of service that struck really deep.

“This generation of young people is sick of churchianity. They’re sick of man-made religion. But they’re ready for Jesus. They’ve had enough of false things. They want what is real.”

And Jesus is as real as it’s going to get. It’s not about church. It’s not about what you do, it’s not about being good, it’s not about how many people you bring to church, or how ‘godlike’ you try to be. It’s just, plainly, in black and white, about my wonderful, loving Jesus who wants nothing more than to saturate every inch of my battered self with his unlimited love of which I am undeserving of.

I deserve nothing, but I receive everything – that’s what Jesus died to give me. That’s what being a child of God is.

The world, religion and even the church itself has warped the true meaning of Christianity.

There is no place for man to try and strive to be good in God’s equation. The only way one can be ‘good’ is because God works through us first. Not us trying to be good to get closer to God. It don’t work that way.

And what Pastor Prince felt in his spirit today was in line with what Pastor Benjamin preached during Arrow service yesterday as well. By the way the anointing yesterday was so strong. In the words of another friend, it was a ‘freeflow of tears’.

Philip and I talked later last night and he brought up some interesting observations. That boy is funny. He observes me in the funniest of un-lizzy [Philip's idea of outwardly strong lizzy] moments. Lol. Like when I was trying to demurely cheong food before Servers’ meeting on Tuesday, and yesterday when I was probably bawling my eyeballs out of their sockets.

Shall be vulnerable and share what he said here. He said the only word he could use to describe my expression when I worshipped was… ‘Desperate’.

In his words;

Philip
1:26 AM
• like u’d think someone who’d let herself be so vulnerable, and show her desperation so openly… would be stepped upon( that’s what the world tells you)
1:26 AM
• But there’s a place, before the throne, where we can do it
1:26 AM
• And it just makes you so much …Stronger?

Where else can I be desperate, but before God’s throne? Man is unforgiving towards imperfection. He said I taught him a ‘healthy desperation’. But where else can one go but before the Father when everything else in her world crumbles? And it is there I find refuge, safety, peace and strength. Lovc from Jesus, as he whispers those precious words to me even as I pour my heart out before Him.

“I will never leave you. No matter how you feel or where you are, I promise, that I will always be here.”

And that is more than enough.

Well, Tim is here and he has requested that I please stop blogging.

So, another time folks.

Sentimental.

I like old things. I like quaint old things.

Mom and I ended up at People’s Park Complex on Sunday so I could buy cloth to make the (disastrous) Fête banner. Ended up walking around and oh goodness it’d been such an awfully long time since I went there. It used to be The Cosplay Haunt. It looks different now, they’ve spruced the place up. It was one of those days where I really wished I brought the camera out.

Some of the shops I remember, some occupying different units now…. the shampoo place, the shop with practically any button you ever needed.. the one with masses of threads and a wide selection of ribbons…

Then we wandered to this shop with pretty trinkets and I saw several items I really liked and wanted to buy. Walked in to find the shopkeeper and was confronted with a wall of nostalgia… it was the same aunty who we used to order wigs from. And she looked EXACTLY the same. Every inch the shrewd business woman she was. Oh man… I felt really happy that afternoon, just being there.

Then we had lunch downstairs, and I’ll really like to go back there again to eat soon. Funny how I seldom or never ate there when I was still into cosplay, we always went to BK or KFC or some other fastfood joint or another.

Had some really good shui jiao (dumplings) and zha jiang mian (fried sauce noodle) from this stall, and my favourite tiong bahru pau char shao shu (what is this in english? pork pastry?)… and also found one of my favourite old school Chinese bakery food… er. I have NO IDEA what it’s called. Mom isn’t sure either, she thinks it’s called 白糖糕 (white sugar cake). Its these flat, barely perceptibly sweet cakes that are generously dusted in white flour. I don’t know how I came to love them as a child but I really do! I was really happy we found it because it’s something I’ve been craving to have but never see around and can’t describe to people anyway.

Another old school Chinese pastry I like is those green bean patties that come in a packet of 5 and have that white paper you have to peel off. Mom had no idea what I was referring to when I described it so clearly I have no idea what it is called either.

Ma ti su is awesome too. (What on earth is that in English??)

So I had a good, happy, satisfying toe wiggly time there. But then we went to visit grandma in SGH. She was so listless. The docs thought she broke her leg bone because she fell, but they discovered today that she fell because her bone was too brittle and snapped. Mom said grandma has said time and again that if she was ever to be bedridden she’ll rather die…

And it was upsetting to see how unresponsive and empty she was when I went to visit and pray for her. I think she’s going through tough mental turmoil now…It’s sad how I never really talk to my grandma anymore. She did bring me up for quite a number of years, after all. I lived through all the ‘I don’t love you, I love your cousin more’ remarks, all the mutterings about her children, all the fried eggs with too much soya sauce… but she did watch over me for many years. And I used to talk to her so much more. Now she wouldn’t even respond when I hold her hand, or look at me when I speak to her. Just stares and mumbles to herself under her breath. And she’s not senile. I do not believe she is.

But she is definitely blessed with very loving, filial children. Many good-looking, intelligent grandchildren (all my cousins are quite pretty, and we all generally do well academically). And has lived to see her first great-grandchild (though Teia will definitely be the only one for a long time yet).

I can only pray.

And pray for my sister too. Sometimes it’s not hard to wonder why the women in this family tend to be the independent, somewhat femi-nazi sort. Foo Ceying. You are a jerk and an asshole and you deserve to be publically humiliated. You collect girlfriends so you can spend their money, cheat their feelings, use them as you will, and you are a downright disgrace to humanity and your sex. My mom made a rhetorical remark if you were not worse than a beggar. She is right. Beggars have more dignity than dirt like you. Triple-crossing my sister. And you thought it wouldn’t catch up with you?

Touch not the Lord’s anointed. Unless you want a seven-fold curse. And you are getting it, m’boy. Getting your just desserts. You have no honour, no morales, no maturity, no guts and no balls. So go get a life, lick your wounds and be happy if any woman ever wants you again after this entire fiasco. Actually, no, just stay away from us. We’re too good for scum for you.

And now that that’s done, I’m back to studying 208. Goodnight.